I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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