How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He passed out mid-signature
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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