facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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