If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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