My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize