He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
COCAINE IS GR8
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