his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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