but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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