New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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