You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
