You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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