Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
