gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
