is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
