She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
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My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
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Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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