I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
