I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
