I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
