Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize