What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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