You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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