dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
