Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
