After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
