It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
