I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize