I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
