We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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