You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
