I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
