Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
