She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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