If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize