Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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