i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
