I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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