Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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