Umm I'm too high to move.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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