How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
This is my gift to your gina
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
