my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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