we have officially lost it.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
