I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
