dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize