Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
