you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
