the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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