i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
