I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
