I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
