Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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