hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
