I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
