me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
