i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
