He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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