Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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