Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
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Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
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I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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