i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize